Uh Oh!

It looks like life is getting a chance to start kicking. 

My battery has reached the end of its usable life. Poor Wilbur. This computer's battery has lasted me ... what ... 5 years? That IS a long time. Still, I had had high hopes for a longer life on it. At least until I had put away a bit more money and NOT just threw it all on student loans. 

Okay ... I DEFINITELY want to share something with you on the subject of saving money. My mom and I have been doing this ... thing that someone sent to her. Basically, every week for 52 weeks, you put away a certain amount of money and at the end of that 52 weeks, you should have about $1,052.00 put away. 

See? Now .. I've had to do this a bit haphazardly. I just put away $20.00 into the jar today. Even though I think ... if I'm doing my math correctly (which, let's face it, I'm probably not), it's supposed to be about ... $8.00? And .. I've already put away the majority amount of $52.00 away too. Then I've just been checking off which box I've completed. I feel like I should have a tidy little nest egg by the time this is done.

So what do you think? Anyone interested in doing this with me too? You can start ANY time. No limit to when you can start. Hard to believe how quickly it all adds up, huh? :D 

How I'm trying to look at it is this way. It only LOOKS like it's going to take forever to add it all up. And ... you can cheat on this if you want. It's not a set in stone plan. My mom is doubling it as she goes. So instead of winding up with the $1300 or so ... she'll have DOUBLED that. I'm just doing this like this! "Hey, I found a $5.00 bill. All right. Let's put it in the jar and call that good and then we'll still put in my $3.00 or so at the end of the week.
I'm a bit of a procrastinator. 

All right ... I'm a HUGE procrastinator. In college, I had to have sticky notes all over my dorm rooms to keep me on track. My roommate thought I was a crazy because I would even have sticky notes on the cabinets saying things like 'Suitcase in here' or 'Ravensbruck Concentration Camp started the Siemens Electric company'. They were the only way I'd get assignments done BEFORE they were due. 

Now ... I have to have a theme for today's post, right? 

I don't. I"m a little on the random side today. But that's okay. Because that's how I'm feeling. Let's face it, readers. I'm not going to be enigmatic, charming, and articulate every time I post. I'm human and ... I'm me so I go off on tangents, have feelings and am not going to censor that from you. 

I want everyone to know that I'm normal. A NORMAL human being. Can you believe that? :D 

I get this question a lot and I wanted to share this answer with you. 

Question: Why do you read and write so much? 

Answer: It's very simple. It's because life sucks. It's hard and complicated and overbearing. 

Let's face it! Of course I'm not saying that every day is bad ... because we ALL go through periods where there's nothing but good things. Nothing but happy thoughts, jovial things happening, and peaceful lives. 

But sometimes, I wonder why college didn't just tell me the truth. WRITE THIS DOWN, EVERYONE! College tells you that life is going to be nothing but smooth sailing for you because you'll have a degree to back you up and pad your resume and then ... you step outside those doors, diploma in hand. Hope surges through you. 

The truth is this. No, there is no right answer because what you learned for that test is NOT going to actually help you in the real world. The real world does not play fair. It cheats and leaves you to follow the rule book to the letter, knowing that every outcome is this.... Compared to what we're told, we only get a FRACTION of the good that we're TOLD we're going to get out of it. They say that when we make plans, God laughs. It's true. No matter what we do to try to squeeze everything into these perfectly thought out plans .. life will ultimately throw THIS into your life's game of Tetris (look below) 

Oh yeah ... that does bite. Life is scary. It feels like when you're walking down a long, dark alley and you have that constant fear of someone following you but when you whirl around, no one's there. Life is the dream that you have where you're falling and you feel the scream build up in your lungs but nothing comes out and the pressure is so much that tears prick your eyes and you see the earth come closer and closer and closer until you wake up in a cold sweat. 

That's why I read and write. It takes away my anxiety ... for even a moment of the scary things in life. I can be anyone I want to be when I read. I can be ... Juliet, Nate's best friend in J.H. Trumble's 'Don't Let Me Go'. I can be Scout Finch in 'To Kill A Mockingbird', I can be Alice Peterson, fighting off the ravages of loneliness and her growing feelings for her master in MY novel, I can be Cath in Rainbow Rowell's book 'Fangirl' who is facing her first year in college and scared to show her true colors. THAT'S why I read and write. Because life sucks. 

Now ... I want you to take what I told you to write down ... and TEAR IT UP INTO A THOUSAND PIECES AND BURN IT! 

Because here's the kicker. You already knew all that, but THIS is what I hold onto and it's a couple of verses that have stuck with me the past few days. I've seen them everywhere. On my bestie, Faith's kitchen counter. In a devotional I JUST got from my aunt Donnette and heard in a sermon a couple of weeks ago at church. 

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Another verse... 

Matthew 6:25-34 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? ...

There you go! (points up) 

Those are what I hold onto. It makes life a little bit ... better, you know? Makes the dark alleyway filled with light. Makes me grow wings in my dream to stop falling. Gives you back those good feelings. Gives you hope. 

THAT is what I've been holding onto lately and THAT is how I'm going to leave you for today. I wish you all very well. 

Be Open, Be Loving, Be Yourself

Taryn